I'm sitting here staring at the screen of my computer thinking absolutely nothing - which is scary because usually my head is filled with all sorts of random crap which might or might not amuse you. But today, absolutely nothing. Zip, zilch, nada, niks nie!
To add to the empty head, someone somewhere in the office is having a birthday and there is this loud bunch of ladies (the men have hidden away - they don't do singing) singing happy birthday to you and all sorts of free-form additional verses about God blessing the birthday girl/boy with all sorts of good stuff. I could give a crap! Bah humbug - the quack who treats my chronic fatigue syndrome (I'm pretty sure it's body weariness from too many years of hardcore smoking and parties and having an A-type personality - or else it's terminal boredom) won't allow me to eat cake so I could care less that there's a birthday going on here.
Ah hell, turns out it's one of our little learners (we have a training scheme here for post-matrics) and he's turning 21 and I wished him happy birthday and gave him one of my best twinkling smiles - you know the kind - with little stars that gleam in my green eyes and all my straight white teeth gleaming and blinking in the sunlight - totally false - but he'd never know that. Apparently I twinkle when I smile - it's a defense mechanism - if the recipients knew what a cynical grudge I really am they'd have the sense to run and keep going till they couldn't see me for dust.
So this unimaginative, dull, unhelpful load of bollocks is my first attempt at a blog. There was I hoping to rise to the occasion with social comment and wit that would fill you with hope for the future and wisdom for the day. Instead all I can think about is: will the hummus (made it myself), carrots, apple and 3 dry rye Finn Crisps (mmm I wonder if they will pay me for the free advertising) is going to cheer me up enough to get me through the afternoon. Did I mention my job is incredibly trying and I'm becoming world class at work evasion techniques?
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2 comments:
"...hope for the future and wisdom for the day..."
Are you sure you want to go that route? The Bollock Zone always has room for one more and after all, there's safety in numbers.
Kyknoord: No I just didn't realise that "truth in advertising thing was for real". What I really want to do is write about how many times DSTV can screen the same programmes in a 6 month period without shame.
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