Monday, May 26, 2008

The sublime and the gorblimey

This has been a weekend of extremes:
Extreme horror, extreme magic and extreme laziness.
I'll deal with the horror and get it out of the way for you. I, will never quite get over the horror, in fact I believe I may have post traumatic stress disorder.
See, I went onto an Internet dating site - YES Kyknoord I know we agreed that this is the best way to meet psychopaths and stalkers but I have this sad streak of hopefulness that makes me forget and try again. So I did. OK? And I had a bunch of immediate hits. Now this should have warned me that there were some desperate dudes out there just a-waitin' for a purty gal to come along but did I take heed? Naaah of course not. And when the dude with the funniest mails to me didn't have a photo attached to his profile - was I suspicious - well a little but I thought maybe he was weeding out the shallow ones. So we built up a nice rapport we did. And then on Friday morning he said "would you like me to send you a photo of myself?". I thought: "Goodee he's not afraid of letting me see what he looks like" and said "Yes puleeez". Arghhh help me Haysoos! He had the most nauseating looks I've seen in many a decade. Complete with COMB OVER!!!!!!! I'm really not a shallow girl and all the folks who know me know I don't set much store by handsome, but too scary to look at is another thing completely. Going to dinner with him would be out of the question. It would be the equivalent to taking a picnic basket to a multi car pile-up with many fatalities and eating ones' sandwiches whilst watching the paramedics save their lives and such. Oh lordy when will I learn.
The up-side (as such) is that he lives in Joburg - the down side is he is nice and I have to think of a kind way to let him down. Serves me right. My friend Principessa says it serves him right because he saw my picture first and should have known that I would reject him. She is a funny woman.
The sublimely magical part of the weekend - a visit to Artscape to see the Merry Widow - a wonderful production by the Cape Town Ballet Company with a stupendous Latvian Male dancer in the principal male role and a fabulous local lass as the prima ballerina. Names of course all forgotten. I won't go on and on about it but the dancing was magical and the live orchestra stupendous and the choreography brilliant!
Coffee and hot fries with mayo followed at a Sea Point Coffee bar - not the thing of dreams but good for a bedtime dose of indigestion.
I spent the day on Saturday with my wonderful BFF La Lue who is an inspirationally "glass always almost full" kind of girl. We ate super lunch together (thanks to Woolworths) including the good red wine, and did a little shopping and more food and drinks and such and lots of giggles and .....well just great.
Lazy - ah yes - I spent the entire day on Sunday, lying around in my jammies watching tv and drinking coffee. I ended the day with a superb venison stew - made it myself from scratch I did - soaked the venison in red wine till it fell off the bones.

16 comments:

kyknoord said...

You're a lot braver than I.

Charmskool said...

Kyknoord - this has nothing to do with bravery - sheer foolhardiness, and a failure to learn from past experience. Isn't that what they say about insanity? You know? Performing the same senseless, painful act over and over and each time expecting a different result!

phillygirl said...

you are y far not he only one to have attempted internet dating with a miserable outcome - MsMozi was telling us bloggirls one of her stories at lunch on Sunday at it was a winner!

Ooh, and the venison stew sounds yummy!

Charmskool said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Charmskool said...

Phillygirl - welcome! The thing about inet dating is that I should know better. At least I saw the picture before I arranged a date. I once went on a blind date with an internet connection - he looked like a toad. I would have run away but he saw me before I could make my escape! It's so unfair - why do they think I won't be turned off - I'm really quite good looking (I'm modest or I would say I'm very pretty lol) or are they just shooting for the moon?
The venison stew however was divine and it's low fat to boot. The only thing is venison can be tough but once you marinate it in red wine for a couple of days or three it is sooo delicious.

Tamara said...

You're funny!

I'll be back.

(yes, it's a threat)

Charmskool said...

Oh Tamara you didn't see the photo! It was laugh or cry - I'm still having bad dreams!

Tamara said...

I hope you didn't tell him the name of your blog ;-)

Charmskool said...

Tamara - thanks to the gods that protect all idiots who think that Internet dating is a good way to go - I thought better of it. Also I only tell people I really like about the blog (otherwise I'd have to censor it). How would I bitch about the boss - yes I plan a lovely bitch about him very soon - and all those annoying people that you have to be polite to. I will, also, of course, shortly be doing a little piece on those people I'm not all that polite to.

K.M. said...

A comb over is MOOI, Charmskool. Look, at least he'll get your heart racing, albeit from fear rather than lust.

Charmskool said...

DBAWIW - I would email you the picture - but that would be cruel. Why should you too have the nightmares. Principessa has a copy and showed it to a few girls in her office - apparently they were rolling around on the floor in hysterics.

AngelConradie said...

tried the interweb dating thing twice and decided i was way too shallow...
;P
sounds like you hasd a nice weekend too!

Charmskool said...

Hi Angel, the weird thing is that just after I heard from combover man, I was contacted by the most stunning, intelligent, thoughtful man and have become friends already. His picture was a passport pic and he isn't even ugly in that! Brave man indeed to post his passport pic on the internet.
By the way the weekend was really nice.

SheBee said...

Hmm, okay - the passport pic oke, how old is his passport, though?

Thats my first suspicion.

SheBee said...

Oh yes, by the way - I used to have this theme when I was on blogger.

Nice choice ;)

Charmskool said...

Shebee, I also wondered about the passport age thing. So I wangled the conversation round to how he managed to get a European passport and when and he said he got the passport 3 years ago. I'm thinking that it's surely time to see an updated version. The upside is he is in the music industry (successful - thanks Google I owe ya) and is really fun to talk to. He actually asks questions and listens to the answers and remembers stuff I've told him before. So I'm going to allow him some leeway on the looks - no one can look much worse than their passport pic. Can they?????
I changed the theme yesterday afternoon - can you tell my job is boring me to heck?